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Empire State Building: The Tower Of Heck

So I was in New York and I figured I should visit the Empire State Building. Unfortunately, so did every tourist on Manhattan Island. To reach the top, you must demonstrate great will power and resolve by standing in a long corral, eventually moving in a line which went round and round, up and up a windy staircase.

The so very long line was punctuated by several tiny elevators which every now and then, took you up a few floors to join other lines (what the hey?). Guides with magic wands controlled the elevators.

Eventually, I was almost there, about to go outside. I was in a long line which went back and forth, separated by cordons. So I was waiting patiently and a foreign European couple cut in front of me through a gap between two posts. They knew that the line was there but they just chose to ignore it. (If you hear Europeans complain about rude Americans, ignore them; they ain’t no saints either.)

Of course, when people cut lines, there are always lemmings more than willing to follow. So, I preemptedly reached forward, grabbed one of the post, and pushed the gap closed, blocking off two teenage girls who were about to cross. The people behind me laughed.

The lesson here is that there are better things to do in New York City then to waste several hours trying to reach the top of the Empire State Building. The same advice applies to the Statue of Liberty.

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